In Our Dreams
by xianora
Summary: ONESHOT.HPDM.I’ll finally walk out of your life, never to come back. I crossed the distance from your bed to the door. My hand touches the knob and I feel myself wanting to look back…if only to see you for the last time.


**Disclaimer: All characters are not mine, their J.K.'s. But it's fine with me if she would lend me Draco for…let's see…forever?...Only joking…grins**

**A/N: **Okay, this was supposed to be uploaded last November 13 but I had classes and well…I was busy. This fic just came out of my mind but it took _weeks_ to finish it. And I only finished it because my close friend was nagging me. So Marilee, this is for you.

Thanks to Marilee for helping me decide what to do here. Thanks so much to my beta, Watanabe Emi, for editing (of course!) and for helping me by making the somewhat rated M scene here. You saved my face from red-hotness, haha! At alam kong emo na naman toh. Adik ako eh…XD

On with the story! Read and review!

**In Our Dreams**

_xianora_

**Harry**

We never really wanted it. Really. All there is to it is the need—need for comfort and need to forget…a desperate need to let go of reality even for a short period of time.

What we didn't realize is, the more we think we forget…the more we think reality is nowhere in sight…memories come back to hunt us and reality is gripping us tighter and tighter, up to the point when we couldn't breathe anymore.

I am always there to hold you when the ghosts of your past come to touch once again and thought to never let you go. You find temporary solace in my arms, both of us knowing that when the light touches the sky, all of these will vanish into a mere memory never to be dwelled upon again.

You are always there to kiss my forehead and run your pale fingers through my messy hair trying to ease the pain…trying to soothe the tears that will never come. I will sigh and you will smile softly. Then the morning comes and everything becomes a dream…Everything will be a game of pretend.

And we don't want to pretend anymore. But we don't know how to stop.

'_Do you love me?'_ A question in my mind. I close my eyes as I snuggle closer to your warmth. The whisper of your heartbeat close to my ears and for the first time in a long time, I cry.

xxxXxxx

**Draco**

I kiss the scar on your forehead and smile softly. The serenity of the night is embracing us as the pale moonlight washes over our naked bodies.

We want this, right? We need this…so much. The comfort, the quiet, the temporary solace and sanctuary it gives us when the pain becomes too much to bear.

But it has been a long time and we don't want to continue living on false pretenses anymore.

'_Do you love me?'_ My heartbeats seem to ask as I feel you snuggle closer to me.

I close my eyes, willing myself not to cry at the irony of it all. But I gasp as I felt something suspiciously like tears that touch my chest.

I look down at your vulnerable form, so close beside me. I hold you tight, afraid that if I let go, everything—even those memories that I pretend never existed—will be lost and all of it, the pain, the loss, the hopelessness will all be back to hold us and never let us escape from its agonizing grip.

"Shh.." I whisper as my lips touch your raven locks, leaning back only a little to look at your face and trace the tearstains before silently wiping them away, gently caressing your flushed cheeks.

And for the life of me, I can't understand where the tears in my eyes came from.

Maybe from seeing another person like me—broken and shattered beyond repair—want only one thing that was out of his grasp and cry…Maybe our life out of this quiet sanctuary finally took hold of us and we need to wake up from this dream where we have held on for too long.

Or maybe because a small miracle came to me…that I can't let go…won't let go of this dream. And along with that realization came the bitter and painful truth that this—everything we do, everything we share…every kiss, every touch, every caress—needs to end because even after all this time…you can never be mine.

xxxXxxx

**Harry**

Tears stream down my face and you gasp as you felt them touch your bare chest.

No words are shared. You hold me tight as you take a deep breath. You hold me close to your heart as if never to let go.

I draw comfort from your embrace as more tears come. I hold on to you tighter, knowing that this embrace won't last long…knowing that this will end soon when we wake up and stop pretending.

"Shh…" a gentle whisper in my ear. I close my eyes tighter, wishing all the horrible emotions will go away and leave us for all eternity.

But one could only hope.

You lean back slightly and I open my eyes to look at you. You are so beautiful. The light touch of your fingers against my face made my heart clench so painfully that I temporarily forgot how to breathe.

Warm tears flow from your gray eyes as you caress my cheek. You look at me and you're so broken. You look at me with tears and still, you're beautiful.

Why? Why is something so beautiful, so painful at the same time?

I feel a surge inside of me…of pain and of something so foreign and unrecognizable and so…magical. Gazing at you, I become sure then…I don't want to pretend anymore…pretend that everything is fine…pretend that it doesn't hurt. I just want to hold on to this last bit of hope that this dream that we're in is real—more real than anything we have experienced and felt.

I don't want to let go…I won't let go.

'_Please…please no more dreaming…' _

xxxXxxx

I roll over and suddenly, I sit up as I feel the coldness of the sheets.

So it was all a dream…yet again. A dream that's so real it's almost tangible. A dream that really happened but never really existed.

I pull up my knees and hug them, looking ahead without really seeing.

You left. You left me yet again…when I thought what we shared last night was the most real thing we experienced.

I wait for the tears to come. I want them to come because I don't want them trapped inside me. Because it hurts…so much.

Just when I thought I saw something magical…something so beautiful that I almost believed it…you would just go and leave me hanging to that wonderful bliss.

xxxXxxx

It has been days and our dreams have been beckoning to us. Calling us to give in to our passion and our need…calling us to drown in each other…calling us to just hold each other and cry at everything in its poignant perfection.

There is no one to hold me as I cry. I sit in the darkness to hide from the shadows that always come creeping towards me when you aren't there to keep me safe, when you aren't there to keep my fears and tears at bay.

I call softly for you, wishing you would come and chase all the shadows away.

Where are you, my dragon?

Can't you feel our nightly dreams calling to us? Seducing us to once again let go of everything we believed to be real and lose ourselves in our fantasies…

I can do nothing but hold myself tighter, wanting to feel you against me… wanting to feel you move with me in the throes of passion during those nights when we forget who we are.

I trembled and the night shattered with me.

xxxXxxx

**Draco**

I stand outside your door…for the last time.

As my hand touches the doorknob, I berated myself for not being able to control my actions.

Or is it my emotions?

I feel myself tremble, wanting your presence near me.

Why do I listen to these traitorous voices in my soul? I can't do anything but act on them and be sadly happy.

Opening the door without bothering to knock, I shiver at the hollow darkness of your home.

Where are you, my lion?

I can feel the tendrils of our shared dreams finally beckoning me into its infinite warmth…and I yield.

The loud click of the door echoed in the darkness and I let my eyes roam the room as I look for you, needing you beside me, holding me close all through the night.

I sigh as I close my eyes, feeling the warm sadness of the moon upon me.

xxxXxxx

We stand in front of each other, unsure of what to do or what to say. I take an unsteady step towards you and you follow suit and the next thing we know, our bodies are pressed against each other, each of us caressing the other's face.

And we tremble in its poignant perfection.

"I thought I lost you," you whisper to my ear, your cheek against mine.

I close my eyes, willing myself to answer and to not lose myself to the heady sensation of your breath against my ear.

I can't lose this. Why do I have to lose this?

"You will…eventually." I answer you as a voice in my mind whisper softly inside me. '_Tonight…tomorrow…'_

You place a hand over my chest and bury your face in the crook of my neck.

We shouldn't be this gentle with each other. Not this last time. Not when we're about to finally go on with our lives. Not when we've made an unconscious agreement to stop this insanity we hold on as a dream.

The aching tenderness in our kiss shouldn't be there. The softness in each caress should be removed. It is all unreal. It is allwrong. And yet, it is all that we ever need.

When have we become like this to each other? Where is the burning need to just release everything? When did this peace come? Why me? Why us?

When did we learn to love each other? Why…why when we're about to let go?

xxxXxxx

Moonlight spilled through the window, turning your body silver. Then you squirm beneath me and the world explodes. There's nothing but you, you around me and beneath me, gasping and moaning and I lean down to press my lips to yours.

The kiss is hot and soft and moist and it tastes like _you_. Soft skin on skin, sweat glistening in the moonlight and everything seems so ethereal and I have to touch your cheek to make sure you're really there. You're the only real thing left in my life; everything's slowly fading like an old photograph left out in the sun.

You wrap your arms around me, holding me close and I reciprocate. It's warm and it feels safe and I want to stay like this forever. I move a bit faster and your gasps and moans make their way to my ear and it's like music; far better than any symphony and I try to make those sounds come out from between your lips again and again.

And too soon, everything comes to a finish as the world explodes once more. This time, everything is white and I'm temporarily deaf. When I come back to my senses, I'm draped over you and your cheek is pressed against my shoulder.

I move tiredly to press a soft kiss against your mouth and I feel you weakly respond. It's in these moments when I know why I keep trying to keep these moments hidden away with me; because real life would just ruin them. Real life would poison these moments and destroy them.

As it had already destroyed us.

And now, as you sleep peacefully with your head cradled in my shoulder, I hold you with the gentleness meant for lovers. Then, I let you go, my heart, soul and body aching as in the absence of your warmth. I sweep your bangs and tenderly kissed your forehead before looking at your slumbering form. And finally, with an air of unexplainable and unbearable sadness, I kiss your lips.

I'll finally walk out of your life, never to come back. I crossed the distance from your bed to the door. My hand touches the knob and I feel myself wanting to look back…if only to see you for the last time.

But I refuse myself this weakness.

I walk away from you, never saying goodbye.

xxxXxxx

**Harry**

I knew as awareness slowly came to me that you're already gone. I slowly sit up and hugged my knees close to me, feeling the hot tears roll down my face.

Maybe its better this way.

We have both woken up from the magic we shared. I feel the pain of the loss deep inside me and I can't breathe.

I bury my face in my knees. I guess this really was meant to end this way.

I stand up to go to the washroom and look at my haunted face and think about the unfairness of it all.

Why? Why is it so painful to let go something that wasn't even mine?

A/N: I know it's, umm, kind of horrible of me to end it that way. I didn't really know how to end it and my friend, Marilee, told me to give it a sad ending. So there! Hope you don't hunt me down and kill me…and I hope you liked it! REVIEW!!!


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